


Because Demon Hamsters

by TheConsultingHunterInTheTARDIS



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Demons, Fluff, Food, Hamsters, M/M, Midnight, Night, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, YouTube, much fluff, very feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3586578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheConsultingHunterInTheTARDIS/pseuds/TheConsultingHunterInTheTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan has always been afraid of the dark, so when he wakes up afraid one night, he, of course, decides to do some midnight snacking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because Demon Hamsters

Dan rolled on his bed, the night’s darkness bearing down upon him. He saw something in the corner of his eye.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT, A DEMON HAMSTER!!!” he whisper-screamed, then realized, after he turned on the light, that it was just his shoes on a pile of clothes. “Oh…”

Dan lay in his bed, wondering and thinking about all the scenarios that could take place.

“I could be probed by Susan Boyle…”

“Oprah could propose to me…naked…”

“Dil could be deleted…”

“Doctor who could be cancelled…”

“I could lose all my subscribers…”

“Satan could rape me…”

“I could be stranded in the world of Slenderman…”

Finally, it was at the point where Dan was squeezing is stuffed Pikachu much too hard. He rolled around in his bed, and then finally decided to go to the kitchen to see what he could scrounge up to eat.

With his blanket around him, he managed to warm some Pop-Tarts and milk. While he was carrying his food to the table, he heard a voice come from behind him.

“Hello, Dan,” said Phil.

“OH MY— FRICK— GAAAH SHIT!” Dan screamed, because a.) Phil had scared the flying squirrels out of him, b.) Dan had dropped his blanket, and c.) Dan had spilled his milk all over the floor.

Phil, having come from the bathroom, tried desperately to zip up his fly while trying to help Dan clean up the milk.

Dan muttered under his breath. “Now the Milk Demons will come and get me… Fuck…”

Phil, hearing this, turned to face Dan while eating Dan’s Pop-Tart. “You can’t sleep?”

Dan’s eyebrows came together in annoyance. “Phil, that was mine.”

“I didn’t know!”

“Seriously?”

“It could have been anyone’s!”

“Oh yeah, the mailman just strolled into our apartment, warmed a Pop-Tart, and is now a chameleon. Completely logical, good job Spock.”

“Well, I don’t know about the mailman, but I do see a bloody clown behind you.”

Dan turned around quickly in fear. “JESUS CHRIST— DAMMIT PHIL, YOU BLOODY ASSHOLE!” Dan hid under his blanket, completely covered.

Phil, feeling terrible, picked up their plushie Dalek that was lying around and slipped it under the blanket. “I’m sorry,” he apologized.

Dan grunted, clearly not buying it.

“Are you having bad dreams again?” Phil pulled back the blanket to find Dan in fetal position holding the Dalek to his chest.

“Yes,” Dan whispered, looking back up at Phil.

Phil went to the table and got out a Sharpie and came back to where Dan was. He uncapped it and drew some cat whiskers on Dan’s face.

“The whiskers give you sexticorn powers,” Phil said, drawing some whiskers on himself.

“The actual fuck is a sexticorn?”

“A unicorn with six horns. Like a unicorn but six times the fun and more magical.”

“Mmmhmm, yeah, because that makes sense.”

Phil sat back on his legs, his feelings hurt. “I only wanted to help…” he said, scooting away from Dan.

Dan, not wanting to be alone, scooted after him. “Gah, Phil, don’t leave me, I’m sorry! Phil!”

Phil started to crawl away quickly, but Dan was already upon him and tackle-hugged him to the ground. “Phil, I’m sorry,” Dan hugged Phil closely to himself. “I’m sorry for being a meanie please don’t be mad.”

Phil sighed, took Dan’s hand, and led him to his bedroom. “Come on,” he said, opening the door.

“What?” Dan inquired, confused.

“You’re sleeping in my bed tonight…”

Dan felt his blood rush to his cheeks. “Oh…”

After standing around awkwardly for about thirty seconds, Phil jumped into his bed and buried himself under the covers, and within a few seconds, was out like a light.

Dan went and crawled beside Phil, and sat there, unsure of what exactly to do. Finally, he ended up observing Phil’s whiskery face.

‘ _He forgot to wash off the whiskers,’_ Dan chuckled softly. ‘ _So adorable_.’

Dan sat back on his heels, just looking at Phil’s face. ‘ _His face is so adorable in general…_ ’ Then Dan had a bit of an epiphany. ‘ _Am I… gay?!_ ’ He rolled off the bed in surprise. ‘ _Maybe I read too much PhanFiction,_ ’ he thought as he lay at the foot of Phil’s bed. ‘ _Oh my God…_ ’

He slowly rose from the floor and peer over the edge of the bed, looking at Phil’s sleeping form. ‘ _But… He’s so cute…and sweet…and nice…and funny…and adorable…and beautiful._ ’

Dan fell on the floor again with the overwhelming power of the Feelings upon him.

‘ _Ugh, I’m so gay! For Phil…_ ’ He got up again and lay on the bed beside Phil and looked at him. ‘ _I wonder what would happen if I kissed him right now?_ ’

Dan leaned in…and kissed Phil on the part of his nose that was drawn upon.

At that same exact moment, Phil cracked an eye open to find Dan kissing the tip of his nose.

The two made eye contact with each other, and then commenced the most awkward silence in the history of awkward silences. Dan was still in the position of kissing Phil’s nose, and Phil was just looking at him.

After what felt like eternity, Dan suddenly rolled onto the floor, pulling the bed covers with him, and then proceeded to hide under them.

“Wha— Dan!” Phil dived after him.

A muffled sentence came from Dan’s little self-made ball of isolation.

“What?” Phil tried prying the covers off Dan.

The muffled sentence came again.

“What?” Phil asked again, confused.

Dan’s head popped out from his ball of isolation and looked down to the floor, looking at anything but Phil. “I love you, Phil.”

Phil’s face broke out into a grin and held Dan’s face between his hands. “I love you, too,” he said, and kissed Dan (on the lips this time).

When they broke apart, Dan suddenly laughed quietly. “This feel like a fanfiction.”

Phil crawled under the covers with Dan. “Maybe it already is.”

Dan closed his eyes and kissed Phil on the nose again. “Phanception.”

THE END

THANK YOU.


End file.
